Poet imagines “if Jesus were gay”

Emanuel Xavier by Bobby Miller, and his new book “If Jesus Were Gay”

Both sacred and profane, “If Jesus Were Gay and Other Poems” by Emanuel Xavier is a new book that expresses Christ in a refreshingly queer way.

Xavier makes sweet poetry out of his experiences as a gay Latino whose painful past includes sexual abuse at age 3 and rejection by his Catholic mother for being gay at age 16, leading to homelessness, drug dealing, prostitution -- and at last to poetry. His background is Puerto Rican and Ecuadorian, and his poems are sprinkled with Spanish.

The title poem “If Jesus were Gay” (reprinted in full below by permission) questions whether people would still love and worship Jesus if he was gay. But Xavier also uses that title for the whole first section of the book, more than 60 poems comprising three quarters of the volume. Many of them do not specifically mention Jesus, although their soulful and spiritual quality is palpable.

While reading “If Jesus Were Gay and Other Poems,” I found myself caught up in the tragic sense of a life being wasted, a kind of crucifixion. If Jesus were gay in America today, would he do more than just hang out with prostitutes as he did in ancient Israel? Would anti-gay abuse actually turn him into a street hustler, as Xavier openly and graphically describes himself in these poems? Jesus is without sin, but the poet-prostitute who wrote this book seems “more sinned against than sinning,” as Shakespeare put it.

At least for this reader, the unspoken question that enlightened every poem in the book was, “Could this be Jesus speaking?” For example, if Jesus was gay in America now, would he say these lines from “FYI:”

I don’t really care to know how many others you have been with
or how many times you have fallen in love.
I just need to know that you will hold my hand
as we are both being stoned for our sins without regret.

Religious insights sparkle from certain poems, such as the black female God in “Lifting the Veil” and the chilling advice in “The Fourth King.” The poet warns the baby Jesus, “If any of the other magi touches you inappropriately, cry until they are deafened by their sins.”

Just the existence of a book like this, with a traditional Jesus on the cover and graphic gay sex inside, is a breakthrough in integrating sexuality and spirituality. And yet I sometimes got the sense that Xavier can’t really believe that Jesus could be gay or even sexual. As the imaginary fourth king, he brings various gifts to the baby Jesus -- including condoms. But he stops himself, saying,

Never mind… I’ll just keep these
Since they will be useless to a poor carpenter
Who believes in abstinence.

After the gay Jesus section comes a set of 18 “other poems” with a stronger Latino flavor. They are featured on the album “Legendary: The Spoken Word Poetry of Emanuel Xavier.”

I wouldn’t recommend this book for everyone because some poems do describe gay sex in x-rated detail. As Xavier laments in one poem, “We still live in an America where writing about prostitution is considered trashy and profane.” On the other hand, the graphic gay sex is a plus for the right readers.

I perceived the face of Christ in his poems, even the “trashy” ones. The book’s implication is that the rejected gay Jesus might turn to sex, drugs and prostitution to survive in America today. And our Savior would still embody love and beauty amid the muck.

In interviews, he credits poetry with saving his life. “Fortunately, I walked away unscathed,” he told CNN. “I thought that God had given me a second chance, and I felt like I had to do something with that.” Since 1997, he has written several books and his poems have been widely published. He lives in New York City and curates a spoken word poetry series at El Museo del Barrio.

If Jesus Were Gay

By Emanuel Xavier

If Jesus were gay,
would you tattoo him to your body?
hang him from your chest?
pray to him and worship the Son of Man?
Would you still praise him
after dying for your sins?

If it was revealed Jesus kissed another man,
but not on the cheek,
would you still beg him for forgiveness?
ask him for miracles?
hope your loved ones get to meet him
in heaven?

If Jesus were gay,
and still loved by God and Mary
because he was their child after all
hailed by all angels and feared by demons,
would you still long to be healed by him?
take him into your home and comfort him?
heal his wounds and break bread with him?

Would wars be waged over religion?
Would world leaders invoke his name
for votes?
Would churches everywhere rejoice
and celebrate his life?
Would rappers still thank him
in their acceptance speeches?

If the crown of thorns
were placed on his head
to mock him as the “Queen of the Jews”
If he was whipped
because fags are considered
sadomasochistic sodomites,
If he was crucified
for the brotherhood of man
would you still repent?

Would you pray to him
when you were dying?
If he didn’t ask for you to be just like him,
If he only wanted you to love yourself,
If he asked that you not judge others,
Would you still wait for him to come back and save your soul?

Would you deny him?
Would you believe in peace?
Would there still be hate?
Would there still be hell?

Would there be laws
based on the meaning of true love?
What would Jesus do?
What would you do?

Divine Mother Father, give me courage

“The Further Door” by Peter Grahame of ironic-horse.com

Forget the past. What am I doing
with the rest of my life?
Divine Mother Father, give me the courage
to step through the further door.
.
-- Peter Grahame


________________________________________

This photo and text come from “Contemplations of the Heart: A Book of Male Spirit” by Peter Grahame, a gay photographer and writer living in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
The 96-page hardcover book features transformational, spirit-centered male nude images, plus brief poetic text to go with each image.  Full disclosure: these are nudes who bare all -- the images on this blog are cropped for a general audience.

“The book is about self image, and its intention is to help alleviate self hatred and internalized homophobia,” Peter says. “The images are sensuous but not overly erotic and present guys of all shapes, sizes, colors and ages (all over 18.).”

We are posting art by Peter Grahame every Tuesday in June as part of our celebration of GLBT Pride Month.  Click here for the Peter Grahame series.

Click the titles below for previous posts with more of Peter’s gay male photos and commentary.

Gay spirituality versus everybody spirituality: A new closet?


Image: “After the Rainbow Ceremony,” detail, by Peter Grahame

Exploring Jesus the Bisexual

Image: “Saying Goodbye to John and Mary” by Peter Grahame

LGBT Pride Prayer: We have always been, and we will always be

“House of Prayer for All People”

Stained glass window at Metropolitan Community Church of San Francisco.
Created by Little/Raidl Design Studios

Gathering Words

by Rev. Lea Brown

All: In every time, in every place, among every people on Earth, we have always been, and we will always be.

One: We are mariposa and marimacha in Spanish, Finnochio in Italian, Mahu in Tahitian, Vom Anderen Ufer in German, Nadle in Navajo, Winkte in Sioux, Agokwa in Chippewa, and the deity Ardhanaarishvara in Hindi.

All: In every time, in every place, among every people on Earth, we have always been, and we will always be.

One: We are the queers and the fairies, the bulldykes and bulldaggers, all names of derision we have reclaimed by our power. We are the priests and priestesses, the shamans and witches, the sorcerers of Spirit who bridge many worlds.

All: In every time, in every place, among every people on Earth, we have always been, and we will always be.

One: We are the word-bearers and word-sculptors, creators of beauty and bearers of justice. We are Sappho and Apollo, Queen Christina and Joan of Arc. We are Michelangelo and Audre Lorde, David and Jonathan, Leslie Feinberg and Oscar Wilde. We are Walt Whitman and Bayard Rustin, Judy Grahn and Adrienne Rich, we are each and every person at MCC-SF.

All: In every time, in every place, among every people on Earth, we have always been, and we will always be.

One: We are the people of purple, drag queens and drag kings, transfolks and genderqueers, amazons and eunuchs. We are Femmes who wear leather and proud faggots who wear lace, we are the friends of Dorothy, and the flaming friends of God.

All: In every time, in every place, among every people on Earth, we have always been, and we will always be.


___
Rev. Lea Brown is pastor of Metropolitan Community Church of San Francisco, a home for queer spirituality. In May 2010 she received her Doctor of Ministry degree from the Episcopal Divinity School in Cambridge, MA.
___

The “House of Prayer for All People” window pictured above was created by Roy E. Little and Jim Raidl of Little/Raidl Design Studios in Cazadero, CA.

“The skylight consists of 25 glass panes incorporating symbols from world religions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, Latin and Native American spiritual traditions, and African tribal religions, along with LGBT spirituality,” noted Michael Haigler, who coordinated the design and installation of all the stained windows in the church.

The center section symbolizes MCC's Christian tradition in different textures of clear glass with symbols of the Coptic Cross, Taoism, Islam and Judaism. The four corners are inspired by Tibetan designs and symbols of woman and man, updated with the GLBT symbols of a pink triangle and a Lambda.

The window is located at the front of the church at 150 Eureka St. in San Francisco. Click here for an online gallery of MCC-SF’s stained glass windows. Special thanks to Lynn Jordan of MCC-SF for background info on the windows.
___
June is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month. A new LGBT pride prayer will be posted here every Sunday in June. Click here for the whole series.

How to unite sexuality and spirituality?

“Casey and John” by Trudie Barreras, schuylerart.com, c. 1983.

Oil, 18” x 24.”

Many people ask me how to integrate sexuality and spirituality. I am opening up the dialogue by posting an email exchange on the subject between myself and gay artist John Bittinger Klomp of Florida.

John generously granted permission to share his emails, so I’m posting our correspondence here to kick off LGBT Pride Month. Please add your insights by leaving a comment.
___
Subj: Current reading of "Jesus in Love" and questions about Western schizophrenic experience of the spiritual

Hi Kitt,

As you know I have been reading your Website "Jesus in Love" for quite some time now. However, today, I am writing to you because I have questions concerning my need to separate the sexual from religious experience. I know that need is taught by our Western culture. I also know that all religions of the world do not make these two areas of experience mutually exclusive. So, I have symptoms of the Western schizophrenia. I am specifically seeking your advice.

My schizophrenic response is of course accentuated when I read Christian literature or see Christian visual art of a specifically sexual nature, I find myself absolutely put off. That is not to say that I haven’t had sexual experience that has been spiritual. The problem is the integration of the spiritual and sexual without being so explicit in the fictionalized visualization of that experience. The removal of the Christian religious experience to the fictitious level is a step I have difficulty taking, and if I were a truly Postmodern spirit I would not have such difficulty. It is especially alarming that this should be so as I understand that most of our experience of Jesus’ truth is a paternalistic desexualized fictionalization created by the institutionalized Christian Churches over the past two thousand years.

I suspect that I am not unique in this desexualized experience of the spiritual, and I wonder if it wouldn’t be wise for us all to hold an ongoing conversation about the topic. At the same time, I wonder if you wouldn’t mind my including this E-mail and any reply you might have as one of my postings to my Web Journal, “The Art of John Bittinger Klomp.”

Sincerely,

John

***
Subj: finding Sacred Unity of body and spirit

Hi John,

Thank you for writing to me to start a conversation about the challenges of integrating sexuality and spirituality. You obviously understand that the separation of sexual and religious experience is taught by our Western culture. I appreciate how you see the broader cultural context while also sharing your own personal experience.

It sounds like you have a strong intellectual understanding of the body-spirit separation, and a desire to heal it. For example, you state, "I understand that most of our experience of Jesus' truth is a paternalistic desexualized fictionalization created by the institutionalized Christian Churches over the past two thousand years." Perhaps you can move forward by finding new ways to "experience Jesus' truth," as you put it.

In my own spiritual life, it used to be impossible for me to separate Jesus (that is, God) from the institutional church. It was a great liberation when I discovered that I could connect directly with Jesus and God, without depending on the church to mediate and interpret. Basically I recommend that you try to get in touch with the original Jesus Christ. Here are some methods that inspired me. Maybe they can help you, too.

* I highly recommend the book "The Hidden Gospel: Decoding the Spiritual Message of the Aramaic Jesus" by Neil Douglas-Klotz. He translates and explains Jesus' words directly from Aramaic, the language that Jesus himself spoke, and the results are illuminating. The body and soul are seen as one whole, and unity is the ultimate good. For example, he translates "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God" as this: "Ripe are the consistent in heart; they shall see Sacred Unity everywhere." This is not a book about sexuality, but rather introduces a new way of seeing wholeness everywhere, as Christ did.

* I also recommend reading the medieval mystics who wrote about their ecstatic-erotic spiritual experiences. They are shining examples of how Christians within the church have found ways to unite spirituality and sexuality. Don't worry, these writers aren't too explicit. Julian of Norwich writes about Jesus as her husband and lover in "Revelations of Divine Love." Here's a quote: "I saw that God was rejoicing to be our Father; rejoicing too to be our Mother; and rejoicing yet again to be our true Husband, with our soul his beloved wife." Other medieval mystics of special interest are Theresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross.

*Read the Gospels over and over, concentrating on the words and actions of Jesus. Notice his compassionate attitude toward the body and sexuality.

*Go directly to Jesus in prayer. Share all your questions and concerns with Christ, and ask him to answer you. Then stay alert for revelations that may come in unexpected ways. I am also inviting Jesus to be part of my conversation with you.

You mentioned your problems with "fictionalized visualization" of sexuality in Christian art. I assume that you are referring to the art at JesusInLove.org and in my book "Art That Dares: Gay Jesus, Woman Christ, and More." Maybe you are also referring to my novels "Jesus in Love" and "At the Cross." They present the erotic, mystical experiences that propelled the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ in first-century Palestine---including his intimate relationships with John the beloved disciple, Mary Magdalene and the omni-gendered Holy Spirit. The books came to me first as a revelation, apart from any intellectual justification. Only later have I come to understand how important it is to tell Christ's story in an embodied, erotic way, as an antidote to the sex-negative culture.

I want to share with you a comment from one of the readers who enjoyed "Jesus in Love." She wrote, "I think artful handling of eroticism is very important in our hypersexual society. My partner and I have spoken many times about how eroticism gets wiped out by our hypersexual culture." So the challenge for our society is not only "desexualized experience of the spiritual" (which you named), but also despiritualized experience of the sexual. This is one place where God calls us to grow and heal.

Your email presented the sex/spirit split in the context of Western culture as a whole. When I reflected on your questions, I found myself wondering how the "Western schizophrenia" affects lesbians and gay men in particular. We seem to raise these issues more frequently and with more urgency than most heterosexuals, probably because the Bible and Christian rhetoric are used to justify hate and discrimination against us. Western culture tends to make everybody feel ashamed of their sexuality, but gay and lesbian people get a double dose of the toxic shame. By God's grace, perhaps we can lead the way to wholeness and "Sacred Unity." I look forward to your reply.

Blessings,
Kitt

***
Subj: Spirituality versus Sexuality

Dear Kitt,

Spirituality versus sexuality, just one more opposition of many in Western culture - not that I have experience of any other culture, at least not in this incarnation. Aye, there’s the rub!

So, let me start over with a profound thank you for your lengthy answer to my last communication. I will definitely follow your advice concerning readings beginning with "The Hidden Gospel: Decoding the Spiritual Message of the Aramaic Jesus" by Neil Douglas-Klotz. I am a maniacal workaholic and I do a great deal of community work, so I make no promise about completing the reading any time soon.

As to experiencing the spiritual in the sexual – outside of my Christian experience - no problem. In my life, I have experienced some of the most profound spiritual moments during sexual intercourse. In art, I find the early autoerotic works of Atilla Richard Lucacs to be especially spiritual. I became familiar with Lucacs’ work in the middle 1990’s while working on my doctorate at New York University, and despite his “bad boy” reputation, I find much of his artwork to be a search for spiritual redemption.

I found your quote from the medieval mystic, Julian of Norwich to be extremely comforting precisely because she experienced God as mother, father, and husband. For the longest time, I have not been able to see God as the Western Church sees God, as “HIM.” It is exhilarating to know that centuries ago a Christian mystic saw God in much broader terms. Additionally, I do experience the Self, as female in prayer -that is an empty vessel to be filled with the knowledge of God.

I will continue struggle to integrate the spiritual and sexual in my Christian experience of God. I thank you for your expertise and advice, and I hope you will continue to provide both.

Blessings to you as well,

John
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The illustration for this post is “Casey and John” by Atlanta artist Trudie Barreras. She says that the models were very much in love at the time. Casey and John knew that Trudie enjoyed painting figure studies, so they volunteered to pose for her. The men posed at what was then the home of the Atlanta Gay Center. “This is the first and only dual portrait/figure study I've ever attempted, but I think it is one of the best things I've ever done,” Trudie says.


___
This post is part of an occasional series on sexuality and spirituality. Click here for the whole series.

What would total freedom be like?

“After the Rainbow Ceremony”, photo © by Peter Grahame of ironic-horse.com 
(body painting by Jack Ellis)

What would total freedom be like?
No restrictive concepts.
No definitive beliefs.
No stigmas.
No repressions.
Only the very essence of equality.
In flaming color.

If we can imagine, indeed,
what it would be like...
we can make it happen.
.
-- Peter Grahame


________________________________________

This photo and text come from “Contemplations of the Heart: A Book of Male Spirit” by Peter Grahame, a gay photographer and writer living in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

The 96-page hardcover book features transformational, spirit-centered male nude images, plus brief poetic text to go with each image.  Full disclosure: these are nudes who bare all -- the images on this blog are cropped for a general audience.

“The book is about self image, and its intention is to help alleviate self hatred and internalized homophobia,” Peter says. “The images are sensuous but not overly erotic and present guys of all shapes, sizes, colors and ages (all over 18.).”

We are posting art by Peter Grahame every Tuesday in June as part of our celebration of GLBT Pride Month.  Click here for the Peter Grahame series.

Click the titles below for previous posts with more of Peter’s gay male photos and commentary.

Gay spirituality versus everybody spirituality: A new closet?


Image: “After the Rainbow Ceremony,” detail, by Peter Grahame

Exploring Jesus the Bisexual

Image: “Saying Goodbye to John and Mary” by Peter Grahame